For Christmas, sometimes we do gifts, sometimes we don’t. It’s never set. We don’t have specific amounts. We are always grateful if we get gifts and if we don’t get gifts. It’s fun. It’s overwhelming. It’s wonderful. It’s different than other times of the year. Only you can decide what is best for your family but I do think we need to agree that we should not go into debt and/or be wasteful and/or angered when it comes to gift-giving. A note before we get started…as many of you already know, we’re weird. That’s just how we are and we are okay with it. If you’re not okay with it, we’re okay with that.
Two Alternatives to Black Friday/Cyber Monday Shopping
I’ve been on the eco-friendly train before it became a thing. Do I do it perfectly? No, but we do the best we can when we can. So if you are shopping this season, I’d like to offer two alternatives before you look at the deals. (In all transparency, I do plan to shop deals too because I hate shopping and it’s honestly the only time of the year you can get to buy anything so I don’t look as dishelved.) These are online and/or Facebook options, but I’m sure there are other ways to do this too!
- BUY NOTHING groups – This is one of the most generous communities I have ever seen in my life. If you have one local to you, join it! You will be bless if you give and/or receive. If you don’t have one local to you, please consider starting one. They do not even want you to talk about money in the group. Whatever you give or ask for will be FREE! People have given from their abundance – lemons from their tree, gifts they do not need, bulk products they can’t store, duplicate items they overbought. People have given of their time – doing hair and makeup for events, offering to gift-wrap presents for the holidays. People borrow clothes and furniture for events. People offer rides and meals and leftovers and extra membership tickets. It’s amazing!
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BUY/SELL groups – This is a little different as people are still buying or willing to pay for items BUT usually at a low, low price. Some items are brand new with tags and others are toys or books or dishes or furniture or clothes people are done using. It’s like a thrift store but online. Some of the same stuff as the Buy Nothing groups happen in these local Buy/Sell groups as well. We have rallied during times of need to offer donations and supplies when necessary. We have given stuff and received stuff for free.
Not only this is great for wallets, it is also a great way to save items from the landfills (which are full and is another topic I can go on about…) as well as a wonderful way to build community! Also, if anyone have pent-up (and/or exploding) bitterness over the congestion and traffic in our area (from delivery trucks and Uber/Lyft type stuff? if you know, let me know), this may help…even if we have to drive across town to pick up items, it won’t be stuffing up freeways/highways, esp during commute hours, which I believe is pretty much 27 hours a day already. :p :/
A few other thoughts on holiday shopping…
I know there are many opinions on shopping around this time of year. I’ve read things from multiple perspectives. These are not my drawn-out thoughts but I wanted to post before we all either assume the best or worst of people whether they shop or not.
- FAMILY/LOVED ONES: Some argue that holidays should be about families but camping out to get the deals is not conducive to this. I know many people whose family tradition is to go out together to get great deals on Christmas/holiday gifts. From hearing stories of different traditions, it can be one way to finish shopping so you can enjoy the rest of the year with family as well.
- WORKERS: But what about the workers? There are actually lots of workers who don’t get holidays off throughout the year, not just Thanksgiving/Christmas time (and no one throw their arms up about that, why?). My mom worked with airline foods for a time, and since there are always flights, there always needs to be food. They just adjust the schedules to get other days off. In cases where days aren’t adjusted, I’ve heard some workers need the extra money and are willing to work for that pay. Others have said they don’t have family in the area and they don’t mind working those days to be around people they can help. Maybe we can talk with people in our own communities who work holidays and hear their thoughts…or if you work during the holidays, what are your thoughts?
- ETHICS: If you’ve never been in a place of need, it can be hard to understand finding great deals and doing the best you can so your family can have a warm coat for winter or food to eat, and possibly a toy to play with once in awhile. For some people, the deeply discounted prices are the only way they can afford certain items at all. Not everyone can shop fair trade or support small businesses. (This can be another topic for another day too.) Sometimes the best you can do is an opened clearance item that is missing pieces for your kids, and that is okay. Your kid(s) will be okay. I promise. I understand if/when people are prone to overspend and have a “value on stuff” mentality, but I don’t believe that it’s all about buy buy buy to some people.
- UPDATE as a response to someone’s post about those who aren’t “opting outside” (I’m guessing this to mean, they will not partake in the buying of things on Black Friday.) and feeling or being shamed for it (that it’s okay if it’s the only time you can afford things because something happened along the way that made things difficult, etc.: All-in-all when we start looking at all the things/issues, it’s really complicated and there are many factors, but yes, more love, less shaming. We should all do our best. Some of us are trying to do our best. There were comments on capitalism, consumerism, in that specific post I saw, but as usual, I don’t see offers of solutions, which makes it hard for some people to want to listen if all you do is yell. Let’s work together to make things better.
Feel free to let me know if I’m completely off my rocker but please do so in a polite, conversational way. I’m always willing to listen to stories and viewpoints from others’ perspective if it’s done so, not as an argument, but so the listener/reader can understand. Thank you.
How did you “do” Black Friday/Cyber Monday/etc. and Christmas/holiday shopping growing up and has that changed through the years? Thoughts?